He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
