What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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