i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
