I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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