Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
