Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
