you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
