I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
