The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
