i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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