He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
