can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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