The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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