Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
