You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Drunk is not a location!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize