She announced her abortion via fbk
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
