Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
