So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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