We're facebook friends in real life
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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