The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
