just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
