You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm both gender and math confused
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
