Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
