i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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