Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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