Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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