READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
