just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
