we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So much rum. So many feels.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
