i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
