he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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