lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
