you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
