when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
