Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
