I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
