I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
