isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
