I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
