he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
