I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
