...so i touched it.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
