Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just had sex on a roof
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
