I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
