every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
