well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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