Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My liver just had a heart attack.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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