i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
