How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
