If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
