They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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