i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
