Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
