my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
