I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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