I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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