her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
