sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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