this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
