i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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