i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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