My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Alive.
So much puke
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
