THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
